My Mother Said
A collection of sayings
My Mother said …
Mothers in Doggie showed that they had great insight and wide knowledge through the things they said as well as the things they did. When our mothers asked us if we wanted advice … we got it whether we wanted it or not. We wore jumpers when our mothers were feeling the cold.
Mam always knew best. They knew you did it, how you did it, who you did it with, and that you i the evidence
Here are some examples of our mothers’
Forward Planning
Make sure you wear clean underwear, you never know when you might be knocked down
I’ll buy it now but you will have nothing to open on your birthday (or at Christmas)
Logic
Because I said so that’s why.
Stop running in and out - don’t come running to me if you fall off and break both your legs
If you fall off that swing and break you neck you aren’t coming with me.
Carry on crying and I will give you something to cry about.
Tough Love
Just wait until your dad gets home.
Always look on the brightside
Children should be seen and not heard
If you don’t stop crying, I’ll give you summat to cry about
If you don’t stop moaning I’ll give you something to moan about
Your face will stay like that if the wind changes
Turn your frown upside down.
Money Management and energy saving skills
Look after the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves
Turn the lights off it’s like Blackpool Illuminations in here
Were you born in a field?
Sense of personal achievement
If you are going to kill each other … do it outside. I have just finished cleaning.
Religious understanding
You had better pray that comes out of the carpet
Drunk again Sam?’ ‘So am I vicar’
Appreciation of Time Travel
If you don’t get yourself sorted I am going to knock you into next week.
Understanding of Science (osmosis)
Shut your mouth and eat your supper.
Standards and Expectations
Have you seen the dirt behind you ears?
Wash your neck you could set tatties in the muck
You will sit there until all that cabbage is gone.
The only joints on this table are joints of meat …elbows off!
It’s like the wreck of the Hesperus in here .. tidy up
Food for thought
What’s for dinner? Hot air on a windy plate
Dig in, meat’s under the tatties
Nearer the bone sweeter the meat
Thicker the meat stronger the man….
If you don’t like it lump it
Eat your crusts or you won’t get curly hair
Ket? … ‘bloody rubbish’
You have got a thirst an Irish Navvy would pay you for.
Fashion guidance
Can you sit down in those trousers?
That’s not a skirt it’s a pelmet.
Have you seen yourself from the back?
A blind man on a horse wouldn’t see it,
Do your toes go to the end of those shoes?
With that lot on your face your eyes look like two p*** holes in the snow
Back here now. I’ve got a bus to catch. Never mind that I’ll give you a lift (worked every time)
You have as much style as the ragman’s donkey
You look like you have been pulled through a hedge backwards
Information
Ignorance is bliss.
It’s at the bottom of Coxhoe hanging on a nail
Ask the man on the hoss at Durham
Support
What did your last slave die of?
Haddaway and *****
Fine, just carry on…
Stop whining
Tolerance
You’ve excelled yourself today young man
Come here while I crack you
Oh you’re the little white hen that never played away
Have you got cloth ears?
Who’s she? Tha cat’s mother?
He’s a bit tappy lappy
You’re making enough noise to wake the dead
Had yer whist
More mouth on you than Tynemouth
Wees thou like?
Who do you think you are?
He’s got a shilling on herself
Don’t you understand Englsih?
Health and Safety knowledge
You’ll catch your death if your hair isn’t dry when you go out…
Have you been in the wars pet?
I’ll kiss it and make it better.
If God wanted you to smoke he would have put a chimney on yer head.
Scepticism
Yer bucket of hens’ feathers
If there’s doubt there’s nowt to think about
If you are right I’ll eat hay with the donkey/horses
I’ll go to the bottom of our stairs
Weather Commentary
Ginny’s ploating the geese again
Its raining cats and dogs.
Command of Shakespeare’s quotations
Knock knock who’s there?
In a pickle?
Faint Hearted.
Seen better days.
So – so.
Green eyed monster.
Set your teeth on edge?
Makes your hair stand on end.
Come what may.
Fight fire with fire.
Good Riddance.
Send him packing.
Off with his head.
A sorry sight.
Laughing stock.
The game is up.
What’s done is done.
Brave new world.
The world is your oyster.
Break the ice.
Baited breath.
Full circle.
Too much of a good thing.
For goodness sake.
Fair play.
Naked truth.
Not slept a wink.
Lie Low.
Vanished into thin air.
Be all and end all.
Heart of Gold.
Wear your heart on your sleeve.
Heart of hearts.
Love is blind.
Wild goose chase.
Out of the jaws of death.
Foul play.
Dead as a doornail.
Breathed his last.